Oh No , It's A Fake Wand
by Akira Bane
Summary: Well you won't get the title yet , you will have to read the next few parts to completely get it . Well it's about Harry and his last year at Hogwarts , it starts at the burrow . Well please review .


1 , 2 , 3 , Oh No It's A Fake Wand !  
  
Authors note / This takes place in the 7th year . Fred and George are struggling inventers , Bill and Percy are aurors and work with a woman named Nova ( so shoot me ) . Cheonee is Lupin's girlfriend and Snape's younger sister ( Lupin's quite dead ) . Neville is in love with Ginny , and Hermione is in love with Ron . And Victor Krum is the dark arts teacher ( shoot me once more ) , and Draco is a good guy . Hermione is head-girl , Draco is head-boy , and Harry is the Gryffindor's Quidditch capitan . Charlie is dead ( got by dragons , thank you lord ! ) . Harry is in love with Hermione but won't tell her , and she has no clue . And Sirius will finally be caught , and might be fed to the dementors ! Right now I am insane , okay I spent the day with two crazy kid-cousins and my little sister . That is enough to make anyone insane . End of authors note , now the story begins !  
  
It was a dark and stormy night , I was at the Burrow . Charlie died two months ago and Mrs. Weasley was crying all the time , it was driving me nuts . Hermione was here , she spent her days with Ron . And her nights thinking of Ron . Crookshanks right now was on my feet , I was sitting at the table in the kitchen playing cards with Percy and Bill . Bill's friend was here sitting in a corner constently looking over her shoulder , her name was Nova and she was more parinoid than Mad-Eye Moody and she loved Mug-weapons , she was a dark-haired scary woman who liked to blow up stuff . She had set off a small bomb in the garden earlier that day and had blown up a gnome into a million pieces . She had dark black mean eyes that could give Snape a run for his money . She wore a leather trench coat all the time with leather clothes . She always carried weapons around including C-14's and some gernades . She even had M-21 machine gun , in additon she always carried knifes , daggers , and a sword . She also had spears , bows , and arrows . She was a living , walking , and talking tank . She was extremly tall and lanky like Bill , but she was more scary she was scarier than a dementor . Mrs. Weasley hated her , she thought she was insane I agree with her . Bill all of a sudden put down his cards " Full House , I win " . " You have to be cheating , that's the fifth time you've done that tonight " , bellowed Percy . " So , I'm better than you at cards Perce " . " Your not funny , Bill I swear you will pay , hear me out you will pay " he then put his head on the table and started to snore . Bill inched his way towards me and whispeared in my ear " he's drunk , be careful extreamly careful " . Nova spoke up then " Tell him to shut up our I'll shoot him . " She sounded serious , really serious . " Er , Nova wouldn't that be illegal " ? " So , it would at least shut him up " . Bill shurged " Harry will you help me drag him up the stairs , before Nova can reach her gun " ? " Sure " , we both took a hold of him and dragged him up the stairs to see Hermione and Ron making out on the second landing . Bill cleared his throat and said " move it love-birds and go get a room " . They both jumped high into the air , while nearly jumping out of their skins . I glared at Ron as we passed , he was going out the girl I loved the most , Hermione . She had no idea of course , I wanted her to be happy so I never told her I loved her . We layed Percy down and went back downstairs Hermione and Ron had probley had got a room for they were gone . When we finally got back in the kitchen , Nova was throwing a sharp small little dagger at the wall creating little holes which formed into bigger ones . " Er , Nova will you please stop that or mum will have my head . " " Sure , Bill whatever you say " she said rolling her eyes and putting the dagger back into her belt . " So Harry looking foward to school " she said in that sort of scary drawl she had . " No , not piticulary . " She raised one of her eyebrows ( she was extremly strange ) " oh , it's your final year " ." Yeah , it is . " " How about going to bed " said Mrs' Weasley appearing from the stairs glaring at the holes in the wall that nova had created . We all got up I went into Ron's room to find Ron and Hermione curled up together . I went and downstairs and layed down on the couch and went to sleep there instead . I was woke up by Mrs. Weasley , shaking me and saying " Harry , dear wake up c'mon you have to get ready , school remember . " We had a quick breakfast . We had to finish really fast when the two muggle taxis appeared we packed up our stuff and set off to the station . It was quite an uneventful trip except when Crookshanks tried to eat Pig , and Ron kicked Crookshanks for tring to eat his owl . And Hermione and Ron got into a large fight , finally the driver turned his head around and yelled at us all to shut up . When we got to the station we went one by one through the wall to platform nine and three quarters . We put up our trunks and got on the train just in time . We had fun making fun of Nova , and the talking about the quidditch world cup . We were disturped by the plump witch , we bought plenty of snacks and sweets . Ron was opening a choclate frog when he jumped up and yelled " I got him I finally got him " . He had got the card he had been looking for , for seven years . We all of a sudden heard Neville and Ginny outside whispering sweet nothings to each other , which was just plain gross . We soon found out who the head boy was . Draco Malfoy came into the room acting extremly pompous like Percy . He saw Hermione and said " Hermione there is troble at the front of the train , please come " ." What sort of troble ? " " Two kids are having fun setting off dungbombs in the corridor . Hermione and Draco rushed off , we soon pulled into the school . We all got off the train to hear " Harry , Ron how you doing " ? It was Hagrid " first years this way , c'mon this way " he waved bye to us and lead the first years away to their tradional journey across the lake . We got into our carriages and talked more about Bulgaria winning the world cup and Viktor Krum ploughing the Puru seeker Jose Marcia into the ground . We soon got there , we got out of the carriages and started to walk up the stairs . We were only on the second stair when we felt something warm and smelly pour being poured on us . We looked upwards to see Peaves laughing his head off . Then all of a sudden the great hall large oak doors burst open . Snape had done it along with a girl with Dark red hair , blue eyes that looked liked they held the night sky in them , and was wearing golden robes . We heard her shout at Peaves " Peaves that brew took a month to make , come here right now before I blow you to a million pieces " ! Peaves just flew off cackling , then I heard a voice that could only belong to one man . It was Lupin " what happened Cheonee , is everything all right ? "" No it isn't , you know that brew I was making that I just finished " . " Yes , what about it ? " " Peaves poured it on those two poor boys heads . " He looked up to see Ron and me soaked with brew . " What sort of brew was it ? " She turned a little pink but not that much " it was perfume " . We both exchanged glances , we were both covored head to foot with smelly women's perfume ! We then heard a fimalar drawl " what stinks is it Potty and the weasel ? " . It was bighead boy , Draco Malfoy . Cheonee then looked up and said " say your sorry right now , young man . " So Draco had to say I'm sorry and he speed off . She then turned to us and said " boys , I am sorry you shall smell like panises for a month now " then she turned around and swept back into the castle . Snape rolled his eyes and followed , Lupin said then " sorry about this boys , Cheonee is like that you know " he said sounding like he was quite fond of her . We entered the castle it was the same old same old , but I was glad to see it . " Who do you think will be the defense aganist the dark arts teacher this time , Harry " said Ron . " Probley some old weirdo witch , or a hag , and maybe even Snape . " " Yeah your probley right " , we then entered the great hall . The great hall was decorated as usual but right now the twilight was slowly begining through it's enchanted ceiling . We all sat down , and waited . Slowly all the teachers appeared and sat down . When all the teachers sat at the table . Professor McGonagall brought in the sorting hat with the four legged stool , and sat the hat upon it . The first years were soon led out of the chamber beside the great hall and lined up in front of the teachers table . The hat all of sudden burst into song   
  
" Years ago you see ,   
I was nothing ,  
I was a simple wizard hat ,   
That happened to sit upon a great wizards head . "  
  
" This was long ago ,   
When magic was common ,  
And muggles believed in it ,  
When we all were persucuted for nothing . "  
  
" Just because we were diffrent ,  
We were burned at the stake and were tried to be killed ,  
But we lived on you see ,  
We rose to be great . "  
  
" Now we persucurte each other ,  
For not being born of the old wizarding families ,  
We are all the same muggle born or not ,  
What would we do rather die than stick together . "  
  
" Would you rather join the dark lord than join in battle with a muggle-born , Would you die for what someone else believes in just to avoid it , Would you let you soul die withen you , Would you let time erase every bit of good withen you . "   
  
" You see I have been watching all the years ,  
I have seen the rise and fall of many great wizards ,  
I was here when the dark lord was born ,  
and I was hear when he fell . "  
  
" Now I am here to see him rise again ,   
Will you do me a favor ,  
Never join him always fight him ,  
Never break the law and please never betray your friends . "  
  
" What would they say when they see your trail scheldle set for the next day , Is it all worth it , Is it worth to be put in Azakaban or even die , Is it worth to have your soul gone form you . "  
  
" So what that you get revenge on the people you hate ,   
So what if he can give you pleasures that you don't need to take ,  
So what if he can give you power beyond your wildest dreams ,  
So what I say so what is it all worth the price you have to pay . "  
  
" I was here to see the begining of many centuries ,  
I was here to see you all born ,  
I was here to see many of the people die ,  
I here to watch them be killed . "  
  
" I was witness to many things I can not tell you about , I was a soul that could of chosen to live , From now on when you look up at the sky see good , For united we stand . "  
  
Ravenclaw , Hufflepuff , and Gryffindor all rose to applause the hat . This song had truth in it for the first time it held power withen it's grip . The power to hopefully change one childs mind about being a supporter of Voldermort . McGonagall then took out her list and started to call out names . The first name was Acceon , Chase he went and sat on the stool and put the hat on his head . It fell past his nose , the hat stayed quiet for several minutes and then shouted Ravenclaw ! He joined the Ravenclaw table who was applauding loudly . When that had all calmed down she called out Beotrix , Finda . She went and sat down on the chair and put the hat on her head , which fitted perfectly for she had a big head for her age , it had barely touched her head when it screamed Slytherin ! The applause from the Slytherin table was overwhelming . McGonagall called out above the shouts of glee Clarice , Rowls . This lad was a small one with dark hair and big-feet . He walked clusley over to the stool and sat down and put the hat on his head . It fell to the point that his entire face was covered , the hat roared Gryffindor over the noise a few minutes later . We welcomed him with our own shouts of glee , it was the first Gryffindor ! Then came Deasmon , Martinous who became an Slytherin . Then there was Ingram , Holly who became the first Hufflepuff . And on , and on , and on . Finally the last one to be sorted was Zari , Kelis who became an Gryffindor we had gotten at least nine new students . McGonagall then rolled up her list and took the stool and the hat out of the great hall . Dumbledore stood when she got back and said " before you spoil your good brains with all this junk food I have a few words and annoncements . First of all tweet , tweet , sweet , sweet , nothing's said . Now the annoncements . First thing is first the forrbidden forest is off limits as it always has been . Second two aurors have been stationed here at the school . Miss . Snape here and Mr . Lupin . Third this is your new defense the dark arts teacher a man stood who we had not seen before . He took off his cloak it was Krum ! Well let the feast begin " , shouted Dumbledore . We discussed about Krum being a teacher and all as we ate . We soon ate our fill and waited until we were dismissed . While we were waiting we were talking about Miss . Snape who had turned out to be Cheonee . And Lupin being aurors which had surprised me . Soon the feast was over and we were sent off to bed . Hermione was guiding the first years , she said then " the password is Andromeada . " We all went in the door and stumbled up to our beds . And fell to sleep while eagarly awaiting the school year . And we had completely forgotten about panises .   
  
  
  
  
  
  



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